I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
