I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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