I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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