I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
