i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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