You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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