I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
