I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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