So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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