I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
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so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
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It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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