i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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