is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
