I love black thongs
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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