White coat. Heels.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize