wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
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