Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
