he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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