Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
