he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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