I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
