Are we in a gay sports bar?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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