I got chris browned last night
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
