Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
