I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
