Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think I won the penis lottery.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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