Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
