If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
