Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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