need another drink. this is the easiest way
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
