Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
