Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
