took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
