ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
