Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She bit a glass in half.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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