just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
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I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
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What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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