So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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