so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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