I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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