I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
