He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
