You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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