I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
