Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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