I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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