I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
