It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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