whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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