My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
