maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
