I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
