I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
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