Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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