I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
