when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
